Like a lot of chronic, progressive illnesses, MS can be a very isolating disease. When we count losses such as our mobility and independence, the changes can make us feel even more isolated. Often it can be the case that we isolate ourselves because we don’t want to bring the items we now need. Brining items like walking sticks, ankle supports, rollators, scooters or wheelchairs so visibly into our lives and the lives of our family and friends can be a daunting experience.
As my MS progressed I went through a stage where I stopped going for coffee with friends because it meant I would have to ask them to collect me and my rollator. I stopped going out with family if it involved extended walking because I wouldn’t bring the scooter. The problem wasn’t theirs; it was mine. I didn’t want to be seen to need these items and I came up with all the excuses. I never asked my family and friends what they thought because if I had they would certainly have put me right– they wanted me to be with them and whatever allowed that they supported. Hindsight is a great thing.
I have really struggled with the cognitive, emotional and physical implications that came with using any mobility aids.
No matter how much I read or have heard about the benefits of mobility aids and the benefits of using them I did not, and could not, apply it to myself. I put them away in some corner of my home, out of sight so I could avoid looking at them. The reality was every time I accepted the use of an aid, it helped me. The stick gave me balance and stopped me from falling. The rollator allowed me to stand tall again, it gives me a seat to rest on and I can continue to socialize independently.
It is often said that by the time a person actually uses a mobility aid they have been through some of their worst days and once they start using them, they begin having better days.
I absolutely relate to this. Even recently, due to muscle weakness and fatigue in my legs, standing and walking was becoming an issue and I was back to limiting my adventures out. But I also knew that I could not fall into old unhealthy patterns, I could do something about it.
So I bit the bullet so to speak recently on a check-up with my pain specialist in Dublin. We loaded the car with the stick, the rollator and dusted off the scooter. It’s fair to say 12 months on from its purchase there have been very few outings. It’s not my car, it will never move as fast as my legs once did but it will allow me to go places. That day was a first and firsts are always challenging.
I went to Ikea using my scooter and shopped for a couple of hours and had no burning-tired legs. What a win!
Fear is a powerful emotion, a massive reaction to pain that I didn’t overcome overnight. I really wish I had spoken out sooner about my fears so I could have accepted these aids into my life earlier. Like others, I don’t need them all the time or for long periods of time, but when I do, I not only to conserve my energy and reduce fatigue, I have more choices in my day-to-day life. This is the very good thing about mobility aids. I again have choices to do what I want, when I can and with the people I want to be with. Isn’t that one of the things we all want?
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