Nana korobi yaoki” is a traditional Japanese phrase meaning “fall down seven times, get up eight”. I have that written on my bokutō, a wooden training sword used by martial artists like me who specialise in Japanese swordsmanship. We use them to fight opponents in an art that requires extreme precision, speed, agility, and balance. Above all, it teaches mental endurance and the will to fight.
First and foremost, I’m fighting multiple sclerosis.
I have had an issue with my left leg for quite some time. However, I turned a corner recently when, after lots of hard work, the rehab was paying off. I had about a 90% improvement and managed two weeks of training without noticeable pain or loss of control.
That is until the other day when I fell again.
This time, my right leg betrayed me.
Intense, blinding, searing electric pain, as though thousands of volts suddenly coursed from my foot to my hip. It was a horrific, agonising moment. I stumbled. I slowed down, caught my breath, recovered. Three steps later, lightning strikes again and my leg feels like it's been torn apart from the inside out, like someone is ripping out a central nerve. And I'm down.
In popular fiction, lightning striking the hero is seen as transformational, powerful. Think He-Man's “I Have the Power”, Highlander's Quickening, Thor calling down his full power, or Shazam calling upon the Wizard. In real life it doesn't feel like that. It doesn't feel good at all. You don't have superpowers afterwards and you aren't imbued with magic. You're on your knees, gasping for breath, trying to figure out where you are and if you can make it to safety.
But all you can do in that moment is get back up again. Keep going. So you do. But the storm rages on - intermittent, unpredictable, fierce and unrelenting.
I recall the words of Rocky Balboa:
"You, me, or nobody hits as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you get hit and keep movin’ forward. How much you can take, and keep movin’ forward. That’s how winning is done.”
How do you keep going, keep moving forward? How do you pick yourself up again when you’re in pain, when you’re tired, when you can’t sleep, when you can’t move well?
I look for bright spots. The tiny things that went right, even when everything else went wrong. It's like finding a euro on the pavement on a rainy day - small win, but still a win.
What do I mean by that? Well, let’s say you tried to wake up early to exercise, but you hit snooze and missed your workout because MS fatigue is real. Some would say, “I failed”, and beat themselves up. But let's look closer:
- You set your alarm (that's good).
- You had a goal (that's planning).
- You had your gym clothes ready (that's preparation).
See those bright spots? They're little clues showing us what's working.
When I fell, I looked for the bright spots.
- It had been two weeks without pain or incident. That was the longest run to date.
- The left leg that had been the issue previously was strong and supporting me.
- I had an action plan in place that had proven effective.
My journey in the martial arts with MS has taught me to endure. So I will. My bokutō keeps telling me to rise. The commandment is carved in the wood. On those bad days, I look for the bright spots - lights to guide the way forward and keep going!
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