When you think of the words multiple sclerosis the word joy is not the first that you would associate with it. However, that is exactly what I will be writing about today. The joy I have found in life since my diagnosis.
I was diagnosed in my early 20s and I went through quite a period of darkness and hatred towards the world. I was jealous of a lot of people because they were healthy and were able to do things without being sick, while I was ill or tired after the smallest task. Now, many years later, I know my limits and I have come out of the dark period and I am enjoying life again. I have learned to find joy in the small things.
One of the main things that brings me joy is my love for burlesque dancing. I’ve always been obsessed with burlesque and showgirls - I love their costumes, the ’50s style and the art of dancing itself. For many years I was researching all the books and articles on present and past dancers. I was always watching YouTube videos of routines, old shows, and interviews. One of my main inspirations is the beautiful Dita Von Teese. I was obsessed with her from the minute I saw her.
Last year myself and my mother went on an adventure to New York and we saw a show on Broadway - the one and only Moulin Rouge, which I was in awe of. I loved the music, the dancers and the glitz and glamour. When we left the theatre I began researching burlesque lessons back in Ireland. I never thought I would be confident enough to do something like that, but I soon found myself signing up for the class. I loved every minute of it - the teachers are insanely talented and now, a year in, I have an incredible group of friends. Burlesque has brought me so much joy. It makes me forget that I have MS.
Later this month I will be performing on stage in Dublin for the first time ever with my burlesque group. Most burlesque dancers choose a stage name I will be performing for the first time as my alter ego Gigi Moet. My nerves are through the roof, but I am also very excited about it. Currently we are working hard on rehearsals and picking out our glittery costumes.
I’ve always heard people talk about the buzz they get from exercising at the gym or going for a run, but I truly never understood it. I really thought they were making it up, to be honest, but with burlesque dancing I get it, I get the buzz. I always have a smile on my face and I feel incredible after it. Don’t get me wrong, there are days my MS gets in the way and I’m always sad if I have to miss a class.
However, I can’t begin to describe the confidence that burlesque has given me. If me from a year ago met me now she wouldn’t recognise me. I’m so happy that I bit the bullet and joined the class when I did and that now, instead of just sitting back and watching it, I get to be a part of this community
Even though multiple sclerosis is a bad thing, I have learned to find the joy in it.
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