Dating With Multiple Scleroris- Research Summary
Researcher: Kinza Tabassum, final year occupational therapy student NUI Galway, summarizes her research into Dating and MS.
Early adulthood, a time in which many people are diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, is considered to be an important time for the development of romantic relationships, however the impact of multiple sclerosis on dating and relationships has not been studied. The aim of this study was to understand how living with multiple sclerosis may affect developing romantic relationships and activities associated with dating.
Six females and two males aged between 23-51years took part in this study. Information was gathered through two online focus group discussions which were conducted through Zoom. Dating with multiple sclerosis involves decision making around when and how to tell the partner about the diagnosis. Telling the person about the diagnosis early on is seen as a way of “weeding out” partners who would be unsuitable or partners who would not be accepting of the condition. Some prefer to get to know the person and decide whether they can see a future with them before sharing this private aspect of their life.
However, others believe that disclosing the diagnosis may complicate dating or reduce the chances of someone wanting to date them. As a result, they may prefer not to tell the person about the diagnosis and keep it a secret for as long as possible.
People considered the lack of knowledge by others about multiple sclerosis and found that the condition is often falsely associated with images of severe disability. These misconceptions often have to be addressed with the partner during dating however constantly explaining and educating people about the condition can become exhausting and tiring for people.
People were glad that they were not in a relationship at the time of receiving their diagnosis because it meant that did not have to rely on another person for emotional support or have the extra burden of reassuring their partner and dealing with their emotional response to the diagnosis.
The symptoms of MS such as pain and fatigue can interfere with physical intimacy and dating activities. Therefore, planning in advance of the date is often required to consider the practical aspects of the date such as parking, the suitability of the building or place, the activity and strategies which may be used to adapt e.g. taking breaks during a long walk, drinking coffee to counteract the fatigue.
However, last minute changes to plans are sometimes required due to the fluctuating nature of the condition. The fluctuating nature of the condition can have an impact on the couple as they continually adjust to the day-do-day changes. People emphasised that it is important to tell the partner about the MS diagnosis early in a relationship because not everyone will be able to adapt to or deal with the unpredictability of the condition.
Supervisors: Ms Jackie Fox and Dr Sinéad Hynes