Good Days and Bad Days

This week Robert Joyce discusses the good days and the bad days. Chronic illness invades every part of our lives and it can be so easy to fall into a trap of grieving for what used to be. 

Snowflake. I never thought that I would class myself as part of this new category. It is a term that is used to describe the new generation, signifying that everyone is different. Unique. Special. Beautiful. Multiple Sclerosis has so many variations of how it affects the people that have it; MS can definitely be called a snowflake disease. 

In the last four years, my health has changed. My Multiple Sclerosis raised its head, announcing its return by adding extra weight to my right leg and placing gloves on my hands that contain thousands of pins and needles. It woke up because of a minor car accident that shook this beast from its slumber. Accompanied by a headache that since then has never abated. 

Chronic illness can and does, invade every part of your life. Work suffers, testing your relations with loved ones and your mental state can transform from happy to maudlin in an instant. Your mind brings up memories of days when you could walk for hours, or become immersed in learning something new. Now, these are not possible. Living with longing for the past only leads to despair.

I have travelled this journey and understand how easy it is to fall into this cauldron of lost abilities. My toe has been scalded many times as I started to slide into this boiling broth. Now I know how this feels and have found a way of lifting myself away from this bubbling pot. I’ve placed my damaged body back on a path with the sun warming my back by focusing on my abilities, on the friendships made while walking this road.

Focusing on the opportunities that I have, the abilities that I learned, and newfound friendships, has created vital, renewing times for me. Lost mobility has put me in front of my laptop and now I write. Seeing that the creativity that I need to feel fulfilled can be met by using these keys, I now share my stories to an audience that spans the world. Singapore, Peru, USA and even Cork are all places that my words have been read. My eyes once again sparkle with excitement as I wonder what new post I shall write. 

I share my story with the world and I know it is listening. In this uncertain future that I have as a result of my medical condition, I know that those dark, cauldron days will return. However, those days are a stark contrast to the days filled with happiness and gratitude for the new abilities that I have learned. I am secure in my belief that "the dark days make the bright days brighter". 

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