MS & Me

For the second part in our look back series , this week we are looking back on the MS and Me blog posts from July to December 2021.

As the year draws to an end, we are looking back over some of the blogs written by MS and Me bloggers during 2021.

We’d like to say thank you to everyone who reads and shares the blog posts and to those of you who send messages and write comments.

Writing a blog piece can be a challenge; sometimes it is difficult to share our experiences. We hope that our words are relatable to other people with MS. We also hope we help people without MS understand more about the condition and that we give a snapshot of what life with MS is like in Ireland. 

December 10th is the annual Christmas Jumper Day for MS Ireland. The past two years have been hard for all of us living with the pandemic. As the world shut down in 2020, it was such a surreal experience for everyone. Thankfully this year the world has somewhat reopened. Hopefully next year we can say Covid is a thing of the past. With everything moving online due to social distancing, so many charities have lost out on fundraising.

There is a fear of disability ingrained in many of us from a young age. Being disabled or sick is seen as abnormal. Those of us with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) often deny ourselves the joy of participating for fear of being stigmatised. Disability has typically been something to hide as it makes others uncomfortable. Since some MS symptoms are invisible many people choose to conceal their disease as they worry about being treated differently or being isolated. This is further perpetuated by ‘masking’- passing as ‘non-disabled’. Invisible MS is more ‘palatable’ to the ableist world we navigate, which is perhaps why stigma is still so rife.

I’ve just heard a Christmas ad on the radio. I’m sitting at the work-from-home space I’ve carved out in the corner of the sitting room, inside invisible boundary between my working day and evening routine. The sound of the Christmassy jingle startles me and I mutter that it’s a bit early for it, isn’t it?

What would you say if I told you that the best therapist has four legs and a wagging tail? Or that my best friend likes belly rubs and chasing after cats? You’d probably think I was crazy, but my closest companion happens to be my 8-year-old dog Alfie (he’s also known as Alfred when he gets into trouble!). He’s a cross between a Jack Russell Terrier and a Pug. His breed is more fondly known as a Jug! He’s the resident sock thief and postman patrol in our house and from the day he arrived, he’s left paw prints on all of our hearts.

Thirty years ago, I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting MS. There were no treatments and the prospect for my future looked bleak. Mobility problems, the infamous MS hug and chronic fatigue were some of my early symptoms. I was 23 and looking forward to an exciting new career in London and it felt as if this bubble of optimism had been burst. Looking back, I did not have the mental tools to help me with such a life-altering diagnosis.

Whitney Houston sang about wanting ”One moment in time” and I’ve definitely wanted one moment when I’m more than I thought I could be. In fact, I believe that everyone deserves their own ‘moment in time’.

I was 64 on my last birthday and ‘celebrated’ my 33rd MSadversity shortly thereafter. I was never physical or sporty in my pre-MS life. I was never that way driven/focused and was happy just getting along. I never made the school teams, never wanted to climb a mountain or run a marathon but after the gravity of my MS diagnosis sank in, I wanted to keep going as long as I could. I wanted to be the best I could be.

Would you be interested in reading a work of fiction with a character with MS in it? Or do you read to escape the reality of living with MS and don’t want to be reminded of it? Or maybe you believe it would be good to see more representation - to normalise it as a feature of life many of us have to deal with? There are a number of memoirs by people with MS including our own Trevis Gleeson's 'Chef Interrupted' but I have not come across many novels where the main character has MS. I set out to find out if such novels exist and came across three.

“Energy creates energy”, is something my mum has always said.  I never realised how true this was until I was diagnosed with MS and had none.

Now don’t get me wrong, when fatigue hits me, I’m not jumping out of bed to get some exercise done. Far from it in fact, but ‘energy creates energy’ as a rule is, in general, a good one to follow.